“How was your week?” Someone asks me.
I hesitate…my standard answer used to be ‘’Busy’’
I’ve been challenged not to say that.
I have chosen to put the word ‘busy’ into the dirty four letter word category.
The first thing is that I became very bored when I asked someone that question and the answer was most often:
”busy” or ‘’very busy’’…and I heard myself saying it too…
I started taking a look back over my week and wondering why I was soooo busy and what things made it so…and also, how was saying so – helpful to anyone! Does that mean that I have been a productive person…and what have I actually produced? Does it mean that a busy week is a good week? Or does it mean something else…?
As I thought about it, I realised that saying busy in communicating to others, could be an inference that we are a person in demand, we have lots of responsibilities and we are actually quite important. So what…? I decided that is not what I wanted to be saying to people. Saying I am busy…may well mean, I don’t have time for you.
How is that helpful to someone who needs a listening ear and a compassionate heart to lean into?
I decided I wanted to be honest with my reply – even if my week had been busy, I could frame it in a more meaningful way and in a way that would allow for another person to gain some insight into my life and perhaps even connect with me and I with them.
I still hear ‘’busy’’ when I ask the question of someone ‘’How was your week?” Although this leads me to determine whether to probe some more, ask a more specific question or whether I should just say OK and move on…sometimes it’s a cue to me, that someone simply doesn’t want to talk because they are too busy!
I don’t want anyone to think that I am too busy to take the time to be interested in them, to spend the time of day with them, to show that they are truly valuable, worthy of my time.
Of course we are all busy…life is full, we all have a schedule of some sort to keep, although I am determining to value people more than the clock, more than the achievements, tasks and duties I have to do.
I have discovered, that somehow – all the necessary things get done…and I do not want to miss the opportunity to have time to hang out together. I hope you are not too busy to stop long enough to do likewise.
A saying I heard many years ago comes back to my mind:
“People don’t care how much you know – they want to know how much you care.
People don’t actually care how busy we are…most ofetn, they want someone to spend time with them!”
That goes for how busy we are…more importantly – do we have time for people?
URLOVD without a time limit!